Vegas baby!

Dearest Reader~


I did not abandon ship!! I did get off the boat for a minute to explore paradise and it was wonderfully overwhelming! Well, Las Vegas is nowhere near Paradise but you know what I mean! You also know my luck is usually bad luck. I don't get the breaks. If something does happen to go a scoach my way I get nervous and wait for the earthquake to begin to rumble. This holiday weekend started no differently than every other one, nervous, overwhelmed, hoping everything would go as planned to get me up to my besties house to be with her and her fam as they traversed this rough time in their life and give them a fun distraction (that would be me btw). Except that was not how it went down. Cause why have everything go as planned? Why? This time I am not complaining.

Enter new Manfriend (I'm too old to say boyfriend, what do people my age call one another) works very hard at his job and is good at what he does. Thursday he remarks he needs to get away on vacay for the weekend and would I like to go with him. He knows I am committed to going to my friends and I want to go. He teases me all day and he settles on going to Vegas. This annoys me for a couple of reasons but the main one is I love visiting Vegas. I'm a night owl. There is something for everyone.

My besties plans begin to unwind due to her son's medical condition. Maybe I should't come, it won't be any fun, etc. I tell her I can help, keep the kids company, etc. I tell her about Manfriend's offer to go to Vegas. She was all over it. 'You should go! Are you crazy? You have to go, you deserve this, we will have another weekend, etc.' Not the response I expected. By the end of the work day it was a done deal. Manfriend and I were going to Vegas.

I was worried about so many things when everything was said and done and the arrangements had been made. I began to panic that he might see how much medication I take, or if I snore (he wins that one), and what if I flare, or am in pain, or, or, or...I put myself in check and pumped my brakes because I was making myself crazy! I started a mantra to help stay focused - stay calm, be yourself, be open. It worked well. I can't be sure, but I was so happy that I began to notice a slight increase in energy and decrease in pain. Or maybe it was so absolutely fucking hot there my insides went into shock. I forgot what it felt like to be that kind of happy.

Even though this is a new relationship and I am being mindful of not jumping in too deep and too fast. I must say there are, of course, things I already adore about this guy. There are so many things, big and small considerations that I really forgot existed, that he does that often catches me off guard. In a good way. In a great way. I was nervous he would see the 'broken' side of me; the side I try to hide and apologize for. There was no need for that. He just took care of me, we hung out and we had a blast. Or at least I did.

The really great parts of this Labor Day weekend are that no matter what happens in the relationship, where I go or what I do, I will remember what kind of potential fun I can have despite my illness and there are men (in my case) who are supportive, loving and understanding and holding out for a good one is worth it. My hopes are high with this one, and you know my slogan-hope for the best prepare for the worst. Hope, hope, hope, hope. Now, onto the recovery...

P.S. To the fake player sitting next to me on the return flight-you should know not to wear all white after Labor Day dumbass!! No one will take you seriously wearing a neon pink jersey, Texas Timex, gaudy woman's bling-ring and flat-billed cap. Easy on the cologne there Paco Rabanne, we are in a combined space!